New Poll Reveals Worst Dance Music Lyrics Of All Time
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Written by Elliott Batte
Though they’re not known for their lyrical content and inspiring word-play, dance music tracks do have some particularly awful hooks and verses in them. So isn’t it about time someone compiled them and determined the worst of the worst? Well, whether you agree or not, Global Gathering put on a survey asking over 2000 festival attendees which lyrics they thought were, well, crap - and the results probably won’t surprise you too much.
From lady lumps to hooptie hoops and endless repetition to nonsensical questions, the results reveal the lazy, the shoe-horned in and the simply ridiculous lyrics from the world of dance music. The Black Eyed Peas’ philosophical ‘My Humps’ storms in at the top of the poll with 22 per cent of the vote with their immortal and simply genius lyrics, which include the line “My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump/My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.”
German techno-heads Scooter take second place for ‘Nassaja’ (18%) with the incredibly random “It's not a bird, it's not a plane. It must be Dave who's on the train.” Who is Dave, why is he on a train, and why does his train apparently resemble a plane and/or bird?
Completing the top three with 12% are the 90’s pop-dance annoyances the Venga Boys with one of the most repetitive songs ever: ‘Up and Down,’ the lyrics quite simply largely consisting of: “Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down etc.”
There are some modern day big names in the list too - Tinie Tempah’s ‘Pass Out’ gets 9 per cent for the line that revealed that he’d never been to Scunthorpe – for a multi-platinum artist you think he’d be better travelled. Nicki Minaj’s ‘Starships’ follows with her invitation to “Jump in my hooptie hooptie hoop I own that” (8%), just pipping ‘Troublemaker’ by Taio Cruz, who flatters the object of his affections by comparing her rear end to a bottle of coca-cola...
Just missing out on the top ten are Fatman Scoop with ‘Be Faithful’ who has some poultry issues when he says “All the chicken heads, be quiet” and 2Unlimited who really have ‘No Limits’, making this point very clearly with the lines “No, no, no no no no, no, no no no, no no there's no limits”. If anything, this list will induce some serious nostalgia if not a couple of laughs.
You can check out the Top 10 of the list below.
1. Black Eyed Peas – My Humps – 22%
“My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps"
2. Scooter – Nassaja – 14%
“It's not a bird, it's not a plane. It must be Dave who's on the train”
3. Venga Boys – Up and Down – 12%
“Up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down etc ”
4. Tinie Tempah – Pass Out – 9%
“I've been (to) Southampton but I've never been to Scunthorpe”
5. Nicki Minaj – Starships – 8%
“Jump in my hooptie hooptie hoop I own that”
6. Taio Cruz – Troublemaker – 5%
“Your ass from the side looks just like a coke bottle”
7. The Tamperer feat. Maya – Feel It – 4%
“What's she gonna look like with a chimney on her?”
8. Snap – Rhythm is a Dancer – 3%
“I’m as serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer”
9. Azealia Banks – 212 – 3%
“I can freak a fit that pump with the peep”
10. Audio Bullys - Snake – 2%
“Head to hat, tape to that, tells a cat, snares a slack Red to pink, plate to, zinc smells a stink, edge to brink.”
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