He had noted that Paul was less concerned with the products and wanted to be a credible musician, to which Gene fired back that credibility is fleeting, it can be gone the next day, but you can’t argue with the figures of a business. That’s exactly what they are: a business, a brand. They’re fantastic musicians – credible musicians in fact, but damn they’re fronting one of the best music brands in existence. Not only are they focussed on their music and on their fans, they’ve managed to make themselves a sustainable business alongside it.
A lot of bands find their logos shamelessly plastered over products. Kurt Cobain and Sid Vicious are two that find themselves in many New Looks, H&Ms and Top Shops around the country, but in reality this wasn’t part of a grand business plan; it’s become more a part of fashion to picture deceased icons across shirts. The Rolling Stones’ logo is part of many fashion stores; The Ramones and Guns N’ Roses are splashed throughout many high street stores... While many fans will enjoy this easy access to band merch, it’s fair that much of the money some bands make from merchandise can be based on the fact people just buy shirts they think look cool.
This is not to say some money KISS make is down to someone thinking their products just look cool, but it’s reasonable to say that the majority is down to their astute business decisions. They’re simply brand-crazy. They have the standard shirts, CDs and posters just like anyone else; but they’re willing to slap their name, logo or even faces on some warped products. It can make mundane products quirky. We like quirky.
So with this in mind, here is a rundown of ten of the more lucrative and ludicrous products that make up the KISS empire. Some are fantastic opportunities for fans and some are just plain weird, but big sellers nonetheless.
10. Deluxe latex masks – Not content with people donning face paint for Halloween, KISS offer you the opportunity to purchase a latex mask of each member. While it will save you the effort of painting your face, it also doubles for the scarier element of Halloween because – if you have a look at the photos of them on the KISS website – they’re frankly terrifying.
9. KISS pyjamas – More accurately, we’d call them onesies, they call the Jumpin’ Jammerz footed pyjamas. The band have delved into comfort clothes with an array of fuzzy lounge-wear emblazoned with the KISS logo and various colours. Of course, there’s the compulsory flap at the behind; something many designers of onesies never did. This product is not only popular enough that many have chosen it to be their sleeping attire, but fans have gone as far as to host pyjama parties packed with folks in this very item.
8. KISS wines – They sum it up as ‘a perfect blend of award winning wine and a tribute to KISS’ – so what more can we say? From a Dressed to Kill Sauvignon Blanc to a Opulente Red Meritage, KISS have got their label smacked on an array of wines ranging from the basics at $30 up to the collector’s edition set at a neat $135. A recent post on the band’s Facebook page said there was now a KISS beer available in Sweden... What next, a KISS beverage joint?
7. KISS Coffeehouse – Too late – they’ve already got one. Featured recently in Rolling Stone’s 20 ‘Rocker Restaurants’, KISS’s coffee house in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina has a speciality drink called the Frozen Rockuccino. The establishment is packed with genuine KISS memorabilia – discs, outfits, etc – and has been voted best coffeehouse on the Grand Strand for the last few years. You can pop in, buy mugs of the member’s heads and bask in KISS glory. What’s their slogan? “Where you can rock and roll all nite, and drink coffee every day.”
6. KISS monster mini golf – While this isn’t quite in the public domain, we only have a 9-10 week wait on our hands. As of March 15th 2012, Las Vegas will be offering an indoor, glow in the dark mini golf course for KISS fans to enjoy. Unsurprisingly, they say it’s “mini golf... that ROCKS!”
5. KISS bingo – Ever been tempted by bingo but felt you were a little too rock ‘n’ roll to stroll into Gala Bingo with your gran? They’ve thought of everything. For ages 8+ (because the concept of KISS bingo is too hardcore for those 7 or under), you are given the tools to play the most badass looking game of bingo witnessed quite some time.
4. Sexy KISS costumes – Technically, these are just costumes for women but many have viewed them as the way to fulfil odd KISS fantasies. Not content with building their characters up to the point of being featured in their own comic books, they’re giving people the opportunity to dress as them in day to day life... sort of. Maybe KISS: out on the town.
3. KISS condoms – This particular product was the first FDA approved picture condoms featuring full colour images. At present, it looks like it’s just Gene who’s lucky enough to be the face of safe sex. It’s yet to be seen whether the others make it one day. The current product features the Demon’s face about midway down with his notorious tongue stretched to the end. Make of that what you will.
2. KISS cruise – Why just own a KISS product when you can live a KISS experience? For fans, there’s no greater temptation than the KISS Kruise. 2012 will offer a 4 night Halloween cruise, indoor KISS rock show, KISS acoustic outdoor show - unmasked, cabin photo with KISS, pre-signed prints, a KISS Q&A, activities hosted by each member of KISS and a 'Krazy Halloween Party', costume contests, wild theme nights... and that’s just the factors mentioned on the brief flyer. Year in and year out this will be the ultimate experience for any KISS fan.
1. The KISS Kasket – Ever wondered what you’d like to spend eternity in once you’ve left the world? Fear not, KISS fans, the band have got that covered too. In one of the oddest marketing plans, the band designed the KISS coffin for you to be buried in... It’s huge, it’s eccentric and it’s definitely a casket that would draw countless variations of ‘That’s so cool...’ should anyone see it. Why would you want to buy a coffin while you’re still alive though? Get the most badass drinks cooler by throwing in some ice et voila. For between $3,299 and $3,999 you can have yourself one of these.
I know what you’re thinking: What if I want to be cremated? Why would you waste money on such a badass casket if I’m just going to burn it? How naive we are – KISS have that covered too. For $650, you can acquire yourself an equally badass urn donning the members surrounded by flames. Few bands could carry off such a product, but bemusing as it is, fans are saving worldwide to spend eternity in one of these.
So whether you want to have Gene Simmons face protecting your Love Gun or want to be buried in one of the most rock ‘n’ roll caskets available, KISS have covered most product bases. They’re everywhere – comics, books, movies - and through the search for just ten products or projects in their brand, thousands were seen... They even have deals with Hello Kitty.
Gene summed it up succintly in an interview with Absolute Classic Rock - "What we do is actually call it 'the music business', it's not called 'music', and intrinsically we understood that at the beginning. So, the KISS empire stretches over 3,000 licensed products... Now I'll grant you that a lot of bands may have a problem with that, but I'm proud to do that.”
Paul Stanley has also spoken about the branding of KISS, saying, “The truth of the matter is, we have pride in everything we do. At the core this is a rock 'n' roll band, but we don't put our name on anything that we don't believe in, or that the fans don't believe in. We believe a great work ethic will pretty much get you wherever you want to go. Kiss will outlive me, for sure. What we've done is create a way of thinking, an ideal that hopefully will go on beyond me and the other guys in the band because the idea is bigger than any individual...”
So what will their name be linked to next? We can only imagine...
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So whether you want to have Gene Simmons face protecting your Love Gun or want to be buried in one of the most rock ‘n’ roll caskets available, KISS have covered most product bases. They’re everywhere – comics, books, movies - and through the search for just ten products or projects in their brand, thousands were seen... They even have deals with Hello Kitty. 
