Baby Steps: Mothica on Sobriety, 'Kissing Death' and Returning To Live Music
Monday, 02 June 2025
Written by Will Marshall
CW: This interview contains references to suicide and substance use.
Mothica has been through a lot. The rising alt-pop star’s albums to date have chronicled struggles with mental health, addiction and more, while last year’s ‘Kissing Death’ revolved around her own relationship with mortality. A concept piece about having a relationship with a personification of death, it was fleshed out into a full visual album earlier this year after its creator got out of rehab, her creative fires burning bright.
Of late, she’s been back in the studio working on new music and will shortly return to the UK to play Download Festival and a headline show at London’s O2 Academy Islington on June 16. Talking with Stereoboard before all this goes down, Mothica is in good spirits and as forthcoming as ever as we discuss ‘Kissing Death’ and its recently unveiled short film, getting sober, and where the project is heading next.
How did you find the reception to ‘Kissing Death’?
“It was pretty good, which I was very nervous about because I’d dipped my toe in a bunch of different genres. When I was making ‘Kissing Death’, I was fixated on making it sound like a soundtrack to a visual album or a TV show. I thought, ‘Is anyone going to understand why this is all over the place?’ Luckily, the people that have listened to me for a while loved it, and were down for the ride, so that was really, really nice and gratifying.”
Was ‘Kissing Death’ always meant to be a visual album?
“Initially, I wanted to write a book. A lot of the lyrics are from that, which came from this thought of, ‘How do you live when you don't want to die anymore?’ It started me thinking of this love story between me and the Grim Reaper, asking, what if you literally romanticise death, and you got married to him and had a toxic relationship with him, and wanted him, but he’s a bad boy? I always knew I wanted to make it a storyline, and try to show that Mothica is also a visual project.”
You’ve always been very open about your mental health and struggles. At what point did you decide this album would be all about death, and was that challenging?
“Before I even wrote it, really. I’ve had really bad bouts of suicidal thoughts, self harm and depression and then, when I first got sober, I developed really bad anxiety and I realised my anxiety was because I didn’t want to die. That was very confusing to me as someone who’s always wanted to die a little bit. Growing up, I really idolised all these artists where I was like, ‘They’re successful because they’re in shambles, and they’re addicted to drugs.’ That rewires your brain to think it’s a part of the process. So there’s my own journey, and then making it about the Grim Reaper being my boyfriend and wanting to leave him in the past. But, unfortunately, it went full circle again and it was hard to finish it, because I was in a really bad place and I needed to put out this project that’s so morbid.”
How important is it to you to reject that trope of the tortured artist?
“It’s something I have thought about a lot. I am one of thousands of artists who have struggled with addiction and depression. For me, it’s like, ‘How do I not be in that space? How can I live an amazing personal life, but then also make really good art?’ I’m definitely guilty of being at my lowest points and almost being self-destructive because it feels more comfortable. It feels like that’s a place that I can create art from. It’s very messed up and, for me, it’s just trying to explore how I can dismantle that tendency.”
You recently collaborated with PVRIS on Reptilian from her ‘FILTH’ EP. What was that like?
“It was so funny and unfortunate that it came out when I was in rehab. I’m a huge PVRIS fan. I’ve been following her since the very beginning. We’ve been able to work on a few songs together. We just wrote a song for what I’m doing next, and I actually got to go to a screening of this documentary she’s doing. I didn't even know Reptilian was coming out, but I was able to look at my phone, and my friend texted me, ‘Your PVRIS song’s out!’ I was like, ‘Are you serious?’ I’m so, so excited that it happened, even though I didn’t get to really celebrate it.”
How are you feeling about playing Download and the London headline show?
“I don’t know. It’s proving to myself that I’m capable of doing this, and luckily, being sober for a few months, my anxiety has gone down a lot. There were times where it was like, ‘I can’t get on a plane unless I have this pill.’ Now, I know I have to do it, and I’ve survived every single plane I’ve been on, whether I was zonked out of my mind or not. That’s how I'm thinking about it. It’ll be good to show that I can do this, and then hopefully, baby steps into doing more.”
Are you planning anything special for this first headline show back?
“I want to play a new song and show what’s coming next, and change some things from the set list, and hopefully still use my stupid backdrop I got just for that two week tour. It's a bit embarrassing, but I think a lot of Americans just really love England and think it’s really cool. It has a special place in my heart, even though they think my humour is kind of crappy or cringe.”
And you’re working on new music already?
“I’m making a rock album! After I was in rehab, I had a lot of anger I needed to get out and I thought, ‘What if I made something really cohesive for once in my life?’ It’s been fun exploring what Mothica sounds like heavier. There are so many flavors of rock you can go into, and what feels special to me.”
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